>I’m Right! No, I’m Right!

>Do most of your arguments with your significant other turn into a who’s right, who’s wrong battlefield? There is no right or wrong, just different perspectives. Do you want to be right or happy?

When a person feels safe in a relationship they can tolerate differences more easily.Try calming yourself by taking 3 deep breaths and listening quietly, no interrupting, until your partner has finished speaking. If you like, get a pad and write down the topics you want to respond to later, when it’s your turn. This way you won’t forget. See if you can find at least one idea that your partner shared, that you can agree with. It’s very validating.

Now when you share your idea, your partner may be more receptive. However, sometimes, you just have to agree to disagree! If your relationship has a solid foundation of fondness and admiration; your relationship should be able to tolerate differences. After all, we’re not the same people. We all grew up in different environments and come with varying belief systems. Learning to respect your partner’s ideas is the first step towards working as a team. When you can listen to your partner with an open mind, you will be surprised at how many good ideas he/she may actually have and how more willing he/she is to listen to your ideas!!
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About Ilissa Banhazl

Ilissa Banhazl is a licensed marriage and family psychotherapist, former grade school teacher and holds a masters degree in reading. She has a private practice in Glendora, CA and lives in the Los Angeles area with her husband and three children. She specializes in adult, adolescent, individual, couple, and family relationship counseling as well as eating disorder treatment and recovery. She facilitates a Women’s Support Group in Glendora as well as a Women’s Disordered Eating & Body Image Group. Ilissa authors 3 therapy blogs, Marriage and Family, Eating Disorders and Group Therapy. You can follow her at FB and Twitter. http://www.ilissabanhazlmft.com or http://www.eatingdisordersgroup.com
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