>How To Listen to Your Woman! Women should read this too…cont… from "How To Listen to Your Man!"

>Hi guys! I’m sure that you have all been waiting breathlessly to find out how to listen to your woman!

When your woman comes to you to share something that is important or troubling, and it has nothing to do with your relationship; listen without interruption and make a few supportive comments when appropriate. These might be something like, wow, honey that’s awful, I’m sorry, or that must make you mad; it makes me mad too! It’s pretty much the same supportive comments your woman will say to you.

She does not want you to fix or solve her problem at these times. She will ask for your help or ideas, if she does want your help. You guys can relax. You’re off the hook on this one! Mostly, she just wants to be listened to, validated, and definitely not judged. She will appreciate this so much that she will become a better listener to you.

If you have a concern for her about her perspective; at a later time you might tell her that you were thinking about her situation and came up with a few ideas that might be helpful; if she is interested in hearing them. Make sure that your tone is not condescending! At that time you can share your ideas while expressing your concern for her.

If you have used your new communication skills, it is her responsibility to respond to your comments in an appropriate way! I repeat; if she gets upset with you, it’s more about her, than you! Tell her that you are sorry that she is upset and when she is ready to calmly discuss it; that you’d be happy to try again. Ask her if she will agree to come to you, when she is ready to talk.

When you are both feeling that your needs are being met; in that your partner can be a supportive friend, you will have healthy communication and safety. When you feel safe; you can be your authentic self with your partner. Isn’t that what we all really want?
Let me know how it turns out!

No offense intended by the use of he/she gender statements. It is merely used for the clarity of this article. This blog applies to all gender couples.

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About Ilissa Banhazl

Ilissa Banhazl is a licensed marriage and family psychotherapist, former grade school teacher and holds a masters degree in reading. She has a private practice in Glendora, CA and lives in the Los Angeles area with her husband and three children. She specializes in adult, adolescent, individual, couple, and family relationship counseling as well as eating disorder treatment and recovery. She facilitates a Women’s Support Group in Glendora as well as a Women’s Disordered Eating & Body Image Group. Ilissa authors 3 therapy blogs, Marriage and Family, Eating Disorders and Group Therapy. You can follow her at FB and Twitter. http://www.ilissabanhazlmft.com or http://www.eatingdisordersgroup.com
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2 Responses to >How To Listen to Your Woman! Women should read this too…cont… from "How To Listen to Your Man!"

  1. Anonymous says:

    >Sounds good. My wife and I read both blogs about his/her communications. We are anxious to try it. Wish us luck!

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