>Hi guys! I’m sure that you have all been waiting breathlessly to find out how to listen to your woman!
When your woman comes to you to share something that is important or troubling, and it has nothing to do with your relationship; listen without interruption and make a few supportive comments when appropriate. These might be something like, wow, honey that’s awful, I’m sorry, or that must make you mad; it makes me mad too! It’s pretty much the same supportive comments your woman will say to you.
She does not want you to fix or solve her problem at these times. She will ask for your help or ideas, if she does want your help. You guys can relax. You’re off the hook on this one! Mostly, she just wants to be listened to, validated, and definitely not judged. She will appreciate this so much that she will become a better listener to you.
If you have a concern for her about her perspective; at a later time you might tell her that you were thinking about her situation and came up with a few ideas that might be helpful; if she is interested in hearing them. Make sure that your tone is not condescending! At that time you can share your ideas while expressing your concern for her.
If you have used your new communication skills, it is her responsibility to respond to your comments in an appropriate way! I repeat; if she gets upset with you, it’s more about her, than you! Tell her that you are sorry that she is upset and when she is ready to calmly discuss it; that you’d be happy to try again. Ask her if she will agree to come to you, when she is ready to talk.
When you are both feeling that your needs are being met; in that your partner can be a supportive friend, you will have healthy communication and safety. When you feel safe; you can be your authentic self with your partner. Isn’t that what we all really want?
Let me know how it turns out!
No offense intended by the use of he/she gender statements. It is merely used for the clarity of this article. This blog applies to all gender couples.