Mom, How Do You Turn Your Boy Into a Man?

So you’ve got this adorable little baby boy and you are madly in love! Or, you had this baby about 10 years ago and now he’s a young teen. Wow, that went fast!

What are you going to do to teach him how to be a “good man”? Yes, its dad’s job too but for now let’s talk about a mom’s influence over her son.

These are things that you can do to help your son become as “good man”:

  1. Teach him how to cope with his emotions. Don’t teach him to keep his feelings to himself because you were taught that it is a male trait.

 2. Make him feel safe enough to tell you about what’s really going on with him.

3. When he has a problem he wants to solve it. Help him to be aware of accompanying uncomfortable feelings whether they are sadness, fear, or anger and tell him that they don’t go away immediately but they will. Help him to ride with the feelings.

4. Teach your son to have empathy for others by asking hypothetically, how he might handle something.

5. Remember to instill a love for books early on. Reading stories about characters and how they feel encourages us to understand how the people around us feel.

 To learn much more about these concepts and many others, read Laura Flynn M. McCarthy’s article How to Raise a Good Man in Women’s Day June 2011 at


 How to Raise a Good Man

Read what the experts have to say about bringing up a son with character

By Laura Flynn McCarthy Posted May 11, 2011 from Woman’s Day; June 1, 2011


Number 1: Give Him a Hand at Managing His Emotions

The strong, silent type and the macho tough guy may be appealing on the big screen, but in real life, the good guys are the ones who know how to deal with their feelings—the right way. “Some qualities that we stereotypically think of as ‘manly’ are actually repressive—being stoic and in control, not showing how you feel,” says Christine Nicholson, PhD, a psychologist specializing in adolescent therapy in Kirkland, Washington. “If your son is upset and you say, ‘Buck up, it’s not that bad,’ he learns to hide his feelings.” Read More>>>

Want to talk about your relationship with your son or other family member?

Look for my next blog, DadHow Do You Turn Your Boy Into a Man?




About Ilissa Banhazl

Ilissa Banhazl is a licensed marriage and family psychotherapist, former grade school teacher and holds a masters degree in reading. She has a private practice in Glendora, CA and lives in the Los Angeles area with her husband and three children. She specializes in adult, adolescent, individual, couple, and family relationship counseling as well as eating disorder treatment and recovery. She facilitates a Women’s Support Group in Glendora as well as a Women’s Disordered Eating & Body Image Group. Ilissa authors 3 therapy blogs, Marriage and Family, Eating Disorders and Group Therapy. You can follow her at FB and Twitter. or
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