Discipline and Teens

Every stage of parenting has its rewards and challenges. But none is ever so challenging as the teen years. I have always believed that if you treat your child with respect you will get respect back from them.

I have been using Don Dinkmeyer, Jr.’s STEP Parenting books for many years when working with parents. His books help you to better understand your child’s behavior as well as your own. It gives the parent tools to deal with specific incidents.

The excerpt I have chosen lists things you can do to improve your relationship with your teen while dealing with issues as they arise. Definitely try his inexpensive soft cover easy to read books on parenting from birth to 6 years, 6-12 years, and the teenage years. I believe you can make some changes in your parenting style and be more effective!

To order: 1.800.720.1286- STEPPublishers.com


Dr. Don Dinkmeyer, Jr.Co-Author, STEP Programs

How many of us have ever been a teen? What do you recall from those years of change and challenge? How did our parents handle the changes, and challenges?

Let’s understand some of the issues surrounding teen discipline. Teens are in a “neverland” – not a child, not an adult. They think, however, they are adult and often act as if they are not bound by any parental constraints. Their physical attributes can become more adult-like than their thinking abilities. The use of logical consequences and choices becomes important when disciplining teens. At all times, discipline should be a learning experience.

It is often helpful to negotiate the consequences with the teen. Statements such as

“What would you do if you were the parent?” or “What would be fair?” have two underlying assumptions – there is mutual respect, and this consequence is being established for a future situation.

It is, in my experience, almost impossible to create consequences at the moment the problem occurs. Tensions are too high and statements are often not well thought out.

With teens, the steps are simply:

Have some parenting questions?





About Ilissa Banhazl

Ilissa Banhazl is a licensed marriage and family psychotherapist, former grade school teacher and holds a masters degree in reading. She has a private practice in Glendora, CA and lives in the Los Angeles area with her husband and three children. She specializes in adult, adolescent, individual, couple, and family relationship counseling as well as eating disorder treatment and recovery. She facilitates a Women’s Support Group in Glendora as well as a Women’s Disordered Eating & Body Image Group. Ilissa authors 3 therapy blogs, Marriage and Family, Eating Disorders and Group Therapy. You can follow her at FB and Twitter. http://www.ilissabanhazlmft.com or http://www.eatingdisordersgroup.com
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One Response to Discipline and Teens

  1. Ronald says:

    Making our teens become responsible is just a matter of self respect and self discipline. The best way they can achieve this is through the example of their parents. We are fully responsible to what our teen’s will turn out that is why we should be vigilant.

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