Did you know that the teen years are supposed to be difficult? It’s almost like some kids have to be mad at you to break away and become independent. Teens brains are not fully developed yet and they are egocentric (about themselves) as they should be for their developmental stage. Your teen does not even see the glass that you are so mad that they left in their room! They’re not programmed to care about these things yet. So give them gentle reminders.
So I say, keep your sense of humor and accept that your child is kinda crazy right now. She/he is moody, hormonal and thinks that he/she knows everything and you know nothing. There’s a lot of pressure involved in school friendships and academics. It’s not easy being a teen. Remember? Try not to personalize the glaring stares they give you when speaking to them.
If you have been treating your child with respect since they were little; if you stayed involved in their interests, friends and school, if you modeled healthy communication and created a safe loving home, then chances are your teen will come through this stage with flying colors. Chances are he/she will come back to you in a more mature and loving way. You’ll have to be patient because it may take years. You just have to have a thick skin and a big sense of humor to get through the teen years. Set your expectations on what is possible at this stage. Allow some of the faces and the tones, but never let your teen treat you disrespectfully. If this happens you can calmly but firmly remind him/her that that kind of behavior is not acceptable. Say, I treat you with respect and I expect the same from you in return.
Underneath this entire teenage attitude is probably lots of love if you did a good job parenting. If you have a teen that is acting out or taking risks then you should consider family counseling. 626-335-0903
Here’s the million dollar question. Do you feel you treat your child with respect?