How Do You Meet A Nice Guy?

“Should we go out tonight?” This is a common conversation for single women.  “I’m so tired of meeting jerks. I’m sick of guys who just want to party and hook up but have no interest in a committed relationship. Maybe we should just stay in and wash our hair!”

Sound familiar? What are younger women, mid age women and older women to do?

1. Well, you could join a group that fulfills one of your interests; like a wine tasting class or a cooking class. You might meet a decent guy there and if not, at least you’re doing something you enjoy “for you”.

2. You might try one of those online dating services. That seems to be pretty popular these days. I know women who have married the man they met through an online dating service. You just have to be smart and safe and make sure you arrange to meet in a public place or consider bringing your girlfriend the first couple of times. 

3. You can go to Beverly Hills and hire a matchmaker; especially if you are hoping to find a man who has money.

4. You can frequent restaurants with bars that attract more mature professionals rather than the usual dance clubs.

5. You can ask your friends if they have someone they can introduce you too. It seems women feel more comfortable when they know their date through someone they trust. Makes sense.

6. Or you can tell yourself not to give up hope but decide to just live your life without making efforts to meet someone. Sometimes the best time to meet someone is when you’re not looking!

7. You can choose to use this time when you are single to develop yourself. Find out what your passions are, develop your career, enjoy your hobbies, your friends and family, movies, theatre, travel, or take a class.

8. You can use this time to learn about yourself. Work on your weaknesses, uphold your strengths and create new ones.

9. Use this time to figure out what you did in your last relationship that you do not want to repeat in your next.

9. You just may find out that for now you can have a very happy satisfying life as a single woman.  Later, when your life is feeling right you can then decide that a guy with be the whip cream on top of an already delicious ice cream sundae, (That’s you, the sundae!)

Don’t give up hope. I truly believe there are good men out there, who do want to be in a committed relationship, get married, have kids, and get a dog. You’re time will come. Live your best life and learn how to make yourself happy. Then, when you are in a relationship you won’t need to make choices based on neediness. I believe that your hard work and courage will be rewarded. Your time will come. Keep the faith ladies…

 Want to join a women’s support group and talk about dating problems?


About Ilissa Banhazl

Ilissa Banhazl is a licensed marriage and family psychotherapist, former grade school teacher and holds a masters degree in reading. She has a private practice in Glendora, CA and lives in the Los Angeles area with her husband and three children. She specializes in adult, adolescent, individual, couple, and family relationship counseling as well as eating disorder treatment and recovery. She facilitates a Women’s Support Group in Glendora as well as a Women’s Disordered Eating & Body Image Group. Ilissa authors 3 therapy blogs, Marriage and Family, Eating Disorders and Group Therapy. You can follow her at FB and Twitter. or
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2 Responses to How Do You Meet A Nice Guy?

  1. Rita Berry says:

    Excellent! Many women do not realize that finding the right man for them has a great deal to do with knowing yourself and making yourself happy — first. Loving and caring for yourself and being happy are essential in attracting the love of your life!

    • You have the right attitude! How has that worked for you in your journey to find the right man? Can you share a little about it? It may help other women. Thank you for your comment. Ilissa

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