Written by Ilissa Banhazl, MFT-
Single Women often ask me how soon is too soon to sleep with this guy I think I might really like? I tell them that I believe every case is unique. I have seen ones that worked out if a women slept with a man on the first date and I have seen things fall apart quickly when a women sleeps with a man too soon.
Do you believe that we have evolved to the point where women can realize their own sexuality as a man does? I have seen women who aren’t looking for anything serious have this kind of relationship. I believe Whoopi Goldberg from The View calls it something like hit it and run and that’s how she likes it.
However, I have seen more women who regret their choice to sleep with a guy early on. I also see women who have high-self esteem and not want to and won’t for 6 to 8 dates. If you share that will a guy simply wait out the number of dates? Other single women with healthy self-esteem don’t set a number of dates; instead they wait until they feel a sense of some kind of caring, trust and an informal or formal sense of commitment. Others of course wait until they are married, the ultimate commitment. Could this be the best way to get a man to commit? Or are there important reasons to sleep with the person before you are married? What do you think?
Can it be that in most cases we are not there yet as “women’s libbers” in terms of female male attraction and relationship building? Do men still like a challenge not excluding that women like it too? Will it never change because men generally aren’t looking to commit, without any malice. Could most men consciously and unconsciously be afraid of commitment and marriage and it’s just going to take the right women to fall in love with to want those things too? What do you think?
Could a man be more attracted to a woman who has her own standards that he must live up to as well? Is there anything wrong with a woman wanting it just as much as he does but deciding to hold herself off just because she doesn’t want to loose his interest nor share herself so quickly? It’s something to think about.
Please leave a comment and share with other couples what you think about this “when to sleep with a guy concept?” What do you think?