When Is It Time To Leave Your Relationship? By Ilissa Banhazl, MFT- Part I

Domestic violenceThere are times when there is no question whether to leave or stay. See if your relationship contains any of the following characteristics.

My partner…

1. Emotionally abuses me by calling me hurtful names like stupid, fat or ugly, etc.. He often uses curse words when speaking to me.  He verbally puts me down and makes me feel small and hopeless.

2. Sexually abuses me by forcing sex on me when I refuse.

2. Physically abuses me by hitting, punching, tripping, slapping or pushing me.

3. He is extremely jealous and needs to know where I am at most times of the day.

4. He is possessive and does not like or let me see my friends or family. He tries to isolate me.

If your relationship contains even one of these characteristics then start making a plan to leave. Get support from family, friends, or a professional. Even though we like to keep families together; you do not want your child growing up in this kind of environment. Move in with your parents if you have to. Your child will benefit from having an extended family at this time.

I know, it won’t be easy for you. It’s a very brave thing to do. Unfortunately the reality is that you don’t have a choice. You deserve much better than what you’re getting out of this relationship and certainly your children do too.

Look for Part 2 Next Week– “How to Create a Safety Plan for When You Leave” (Sometimes you have to wait until your partner is outside the home in order exit safely)

Would you like to talk to me about possibly leaving your relationship? (626-335-0903)

Advertisements

About Ilissa Banhazl

Ilissa Banhazl is a licensed marriage and family psychotherapist, former grade school teacher and holds a masters degree in reading. She has a private practice in Glendora, CA and lives in the Los Angeles area with her husband and three children. She specializes in adult, adolescent, individual, couple, and family relationship counseling as well as eating disorder treatment and recovery. She facilitates a Women’s Support Group in Glendora as well as a Women’s Disordered Eating & Body Image Group. Ilissa authors 3 therapy blogs, Marriage and Family, Eating Disorders and Group Therapy. You can follow her at FB and Twitter. http://www.ilissabanhazlmft.com or http://www.eatingdisordersgroup.com
This entry was posted in Abuse, assertive, bullying, communicate, Communication Tip for Partners, counseling, counseling, Couple's Counseling, couples, Couples and Emotional Abuse, daughters, Domestic Violence, financial counseling for couples, guys, help, Ilissa Banhazl, pre-marital counseling, questions, Relationship Counseling, Resolve past hurts and wounds in couple's counseling, separate finances, Talk to Your therapist when you are bothered by something they did, Try Couple's Counseling when you're thinking of splitting and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s