Many couples are in couples’ counseling but may notice that not much is getting better. That’s probably because you are not ready to discuss your couple issues together and you would both benefit from discernment counseling first.
Discernment counseling is done individually with each partner and the therapist. Sometimes before couples are ready to discuss couples’ issues they need to first discover more about what they want and need. This is best done one on one with a therapist. Mixing in couple sessions every few weeks is helpful in bringing your individual growth back to the relationship.
Discernment counseling also helps you discover whether you want to stay in your marriage or whether you truly feel it is best to move on and stay friends. If you both decide that you want to commit to working to see if you can save your relationship; we then would switch to predominately couples’ sessions with individual sessions when needed.
It’s a new way to look at marriage counseling!
Here’s 3 things you can do to save your marriage:
1. Meet with a psychotherapist as a couple one or two times.
2. If we find that you cannot discuss issues as a couple without it becoming conflictual, we can arrange individual counseling sessions.
3. Tell your therapist what you feel, think, and need. Through discussion and self-awareness, find out whether you want to leave your marriage/relationship or commit to working on it without any exits for a period of time.