Do you find that most times when you and your partner have a disagreement that the conversation turns into a “who can push your buttons more match”! Not effective at all, right? Yet you’re stuck in this negative pattern of communicating.
Here are 5 things you can do to keep your discussions from turning into an angry hurtful fight.
1. Use “I statements” like, I feel _____ when you_______ and I need you to______________.
2. When conversations get unproductive call a gentle time-out. Readdress it within 24 hours in a calm and respectful way.
3. Take turns talking without interruption.
4. Be a good listener. Don’t listen while thinking about what you want to say next! Really hear what your partner is saying.
5. Try to find something that your partner said that you could agree with (if you can) before stating your response.
These tips are a good start but if you think couple’s counseling might help you and your partner to communicate better by learning some new skills, consider couple’s counseling.