Dating… What’s Your Take on The Bachelor, Juan Pablo’s Communication? Ilissa Banhazl, MFT Glendora, CA

Counseling marriage communication skills

How do you communicate to your partner when your upset with him/her?

Last week on the TV show The Bachelor, which many women watch, Andy one of the 3 remaining women became very angry at the bachelor Juan Pablo. The context of their argument is not important for our purpose right now. What I am bringing to your attention is the way they dealt with their conflict.

I would like to know what your take is on their communication… (Please leave a comment.)

I felt that the young woman was immature and emotional and used ineffective communication. She interrupted, she made facial expressions and she got angry when he was speaking; especially when he disagreed with her. She was critical and attacking rather than curious about his behavior and thoughts. She would not believe his truth and came across very sure that she was right. No matter what Juan Pablo’s stance was he used healthy communication when she discussed her ideas and feelings with him.

Juan Pablo asked her why she didn’t tell him that she was unhappy when it was happening so that he could have made changes to accommodate her needs. She was too afraid to use her adult voice to speak up when it was happening. This is something that many women do.

Later, she was only comfortable expressing herself through anger. Juan Pablo kept his cool, respected and accepted her decision to leave the show because she felt he was not right for her. He was hurt but he realized he could make her feel something she did not feel. Then she became angry because she felt he was unemotional in that he was willing to let her go so easily. Do you or don’t ya lady?? Make up your mind!

What is your opinion of the way Andy and Juan Pablo communicated during their important discussion?

Leave a comment…

More on relationship counseling and communication




About Ilissa Banhazl

Ilissa Banhazl is a licensed marriage and family psychotherapist, former grade school teacher and holds a masters degree in reading. She has a private practice in Glendora, CA and lives in the Los Angeles area with her husband and three children. She specializes in adult, adolescent, individual, couple, and family relationship counseling as well as eating disorder treatment and recovery. She facilitates a Women’s Support Group in Glendora as well as a Women’s Disordered Eating & Body Image Group. Ilissa authors 3 therapy blogs, Marriage and Family, Eating Disorders and Group Therapy. You can follow her at FB and Twitter. or
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