This week in the media Sarah Jessica Parker made a statement regarding the state of women’s relationships today and it got me thinking. She said that the days of Sex and the City and that kind of female friendship are gone and that women were meaner today.
Do I agree with that? Not really. Do you? In my work, I have seen many caring friendships especially in times of divorce when women are trying to get back on their feet. I see women making plans to get together and do all sorts of things. I personally experience female friendships that are loving and supportive and I am supportive back. I believe the 3 most important things in friendship is loyalty, being nonjudgmental and having fun.
What are 2 reasons that women’s friendships are being perceived in a negative way?
- In the media they reported that “Reality TV” has shown women behaving so poorly that perhaps it was becoming the overall belief that women’s friendships are mostly unhealthy.
- Lately, many articles are being written about toxic female friendships and this presents a trend.
In Sex and the City they portrayed women as being there for one another. They also knew how to go out and have fun together. When they shared their truths, no matter how bad, they were accepted and encouraged. They trusted one another and felt safe to share their opinions gently even when they disagreed because they were worried about one another. Sure once in a while, not often, they had disagreements but they always made up and talked things out.
When you were going through something really hard and turned to your friend was she there for you or did she let you down? I’m curious about your experience of women and female friendships. Please leave a comment! I hate to think that we are “Mean Girls”!
Note: IF you are in a toxic relationship that stresses you out, makes you feel bad about yourself, or is no longer fun you need to get out. It may feel like a break up but there are many other wonderful women for you to meet.
Consider a few sessions of counseling/therapy to help you communicate with your friend to save the friendship or help you navigate the feelings of loss if you decide to leave.
Ilissa Banhazl, MFT, Glendora, www.ilissabanhazlmft.com, (626) 335-0903
Leave a comment about your friendships…