3 Ways To Turn A Criticism Into A Request and Avoid a Fight

Use an "I statement" Instead.

Use an “I statement” Instead.

Instead of saying, “I can’t stand when you…” Try using an “I Statement“.

I feel  irritated and disrespected   when you  leave your underwear on the floor because I work very hard to keep the house nice  and I would appreciate it if you could  put your underwear in the hamper from now on.

It would be hard to say no to that. Make sure to show appreciation for your partner’s cooperation. This means they care about your feelings and wants. However, they won’t know unless you tell them! It must be done in a kind and respectful manner.

Fill in your own blanks and try it on your partner.

I feel _________________ when you____________________. I would appreciate it if you could___________________________________.

Let me know what happens!

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About Ilissa Banhazl

Ilissa Banhazl is a licensed marriage and family psychotherapist, former grade school teacher and holds a masters degree in reading. She has a private practice in Glendora, CA and lives in the Los Angeles area with her husband and three children. She specializes in adult, adolescent, individual, couple, and family relationship counseling as well as eating disorder treatment and recovery. She facilitates a Women’s Support Group in Glendora as well as a Women’s Disordered Eating & Body Image Group. Ilissa authors 3 therapy blogs, Marriage and Family, Eating Disorders and Group Therapy. You can follow her at FB and Twitter. http://www.ilissabanhazlmft.com or http://www.eatingdisordersgroup.com
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