Do you find that some of your arguments seem to get more intense than they need to? Usually this is because your partner will say something that triggers you to rage or cry or yell. You may not even know why you’re having such an intense reaction and your partner is unsure of what they did to upset you this much.
It’s a trigger!
Your partner said something that triggered feelings in you from your past and you’re bringing it into the present moment.
Seems like everyone is busier than ever. Most parents are working and kids are involved in after school programs and their friends. The weeks and months seem to fly by. Sound familiar?
If so, how about shaking it up a bit? You’ll certainly grab your kid’s attention and that’s always a good thing!
Connected families thrive!
Read 7 Effective Topics for the Dinner Hour>>>
Yup, it’s that time of year when your partner may disappear into sports heaven!
Many partners find themselves with a lot of free time and perhaps even feel frustrated that things are not being attended to during the games.
You have a choice. You can fight or you can find a way to make the season work for both of you.
To learn 5 things that can make the season more manageable for everyone visit>>>
September is always a hectic time of year because our children head back to school.
Homework, new teachers, new friends, new activities…
Some children are more sensitive than others and may feel stressed out returning to a full schedule.
Here are 3 things you can do to set your child’s year off on a positive path »
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Sometimes a relationship benefits from an outside professional view.
New perspectives present themselves as well as new ways of being.
Open a window to your relationship and watch it improve!
For Relationship Counseling:
Ilissa Banhazl, marriage and family therapy
Call : 626-335-0903
Ilissa Banhazl, marriage and family therapy (MFT)
Location: Glendora
Areas of Treatment:
1. Anxiety
2, Depression
3. Grief, Loss, Bereavement
4. Women’s Issues
5. Relationship Issues
6. Family Counseling
7. Eating Disorders & Body Image
8. Pre-marital
9. Self-esteem
Flexible Hours
Fee: $150 w PPO Reimbursement
Call to ask a question!
626-335-0903
Inquire about Group Therapy!
Well, not never! However, when you want to know more about something your teen mentioned in passing or check in to see how your teen is doing; the number 1 best time is when they feel like talking about it with you! (of course major concerns must be addressed immediately in a respectful way)
The next most important thing to remember is when your teen starts talking, don’t use this moment to teach or to express your own ideas or concerns, nor should you ask lots of questions. That’s the kiss of death!!
If you’re lucky enough that your teen wants to tell you about their private world, then take time to learn how to listen in a parental way. Learn how to simply listen and show little emotion, unless you’re showing it in a supportive way. (Counseling for Parents)
Remember this the next time your teen trusts you enough to come share something with you.
*If your teen never shares anything personal with you then most likely you’re doing something that is shutting them down.
Try a new approach!
Be aware of your moods
You may think that you and your partner are disconnected because of some deep important problem. However, have you ever considered or noticed how your mood affects your relationship?
Ask yourself:
1. Am I tired?
2. Has my partier done anything specific that upsets me?
3. Could my own negative feelings about myself be playing into our interactions?
4. Is there something or someone else bothering you?
If it’s not your mood than there may be some legitimate topics that need to be addressed.
Just remember to look to yourself before you look to your partner for your unhappiness!
Is this you?-
When you find yourself up in your head brooding about something that has already happened or in the future worrying about something that hasn’t happened; you’re not being in the moment.
Catch yourself in your head and talk yourself down.
1. I am here.
2. I am safe.
3. Speak out loud, “I am brushing my teeth” or anything else that you are doing in the moment.
It will bring you back.
You will be present in your life, enjoy more and worry less…
More tips to come!
Look this up it’s awesome! Seven apps to help you stop stressing and be mindful>>>
Is this the right therapist for you?
Choosing a therapist is not easy. The best thing to do is set up your first meeting or two and see if you have a good fit with the therapist. Do you like her or him?
These are 9 qualities you are looking for in a therapist plus things to ask:
1. They must be licensed by the BBS in California and treat only issues they are qualified to treat.
2. They should be open to questions inquiring about their experience and their orientation towards counseling.
3. Do they seem genuine?
4. Is she/he a good listener?
5. Does he/she have firm boundaries in place for your safety?
6. Do you like a therapist who listens mostly while you talk or one who interjects and gives you tools to use outside of therapy?
7. Is the therapist working towards your goals or their own?
8. Does your therapist force you to talk about things you don’t feel ready or want to talk about?
9. A therapist should not tell you what to do. You must live with the consequences. A therapist should share information but leave the final choice to the patient.
Mostly, trust your gut. If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t right for you. Find another one! There are many to choose from!
